ARRANGE MARRIAGES
Getting your parents to arrange someone for you with whom you can spend all your life is considered to be an arrange marriage. Most of the Teens today are not in favour of arrange marriages as they like to choose their partner themselves rather than somebody else finding a suitable match . Everybody has a different perception when we talk about love v/s arrange marriage . But, as far as i have seen , arrange marriages is the best thing that can happen to you if played nicely. Today, we will be discussing the factors that affect relationships and how to overcome complications in marriages.
Love in arrange marriages :
Unlike love marriages, arrange marriage is a complicated one at an initial stage reason being , both the partners are not familier with each others habbits , likes and dislikes. From the day of their first meeting both the partners get engaged in understanding each other. But, spending some quality time with your partner before marriage and getting into a whole different life and family after marriage are two different things . You will notice that the person you met before marriage is a much different one when knowing them thoroughly and spending your most of the hours with them. It's not they were trying to hide something from you before marriage , but they are not open enough with you in the starting to let you know each and everything to you about them.
Love in arrange marriages develops slowly and gradually with time. Some of us are in a hurry to find love in a relationship , but how can we be so mean to ask for love in a few days . It's not a movie nor a game which can be played and ended in an hour. Everything needs time and so does love but once you starts feeling for the person, the person becomes the world to you.
Compromises and Adjustments :
Compromises and adjustments are considered to be a part of arrange marriages, but it is exactly not like that. Arrange marriages are all about understanding each other and trying to deliver your best for the other person.
Sometimes you have to give up things that you like or some of your habbits to make the other person happy but as far as it is good for you , your life and your family, ther's no harm in it.
Problems of Married life and their Solutions
- Getting less attention :
Every relationship needs time and arrange marriages needs much more time to understand your partner as you both are truly strangers for each other. This is one of the major factor that affects a relationship. Relationship breaks at a point when one person is in a need to spend time with their partner and the other one ignores it or is in his lost world running away from the responsibilities . Every relation asks for love, which only gets created through time that we spend together.
- Arguments :
At a point of time, couples starts fighting which is good. But when the fights change into arguments, it causes the problem for both. Remember, for a successful married life , one has to stop arguing when the other partner is in anger. But this should not be the case each time they fight, both the partners must understand each other.
- Ego :
Ego overcomes the love you have for your better half. It occurs when you don't want to bent down to your partner after having an argument, someone or the other has to behave maturely after the argument is done and must keep the ego aside to let the partner know how much you love them for a healthy relationship.
- Freedom to live by your own choice :
Well, this happens with both , the husband and the wife. Sometimes , after marriage you feel like you are caged , your freedom has hide somewhere as you don't find time for yourself . For wives, they are busy managing the house, husband and the children. The regular household things starts annoying them, they feel like having no time to roam around, do the things they love or just finding some good time with themselves. On the other hand, husbands feel like they are over pressured with responsibilities on their heads and find tough to make some time for their friends to chill and relax. The best solution to this problem is to plan for holidays , you just need a small trip to be back to refreshing moods.
- Love :
This happens mostly to girls after marriage. The expectations of being loved , and not getting it according to their need or desires is what creates frustration in them . Usually, we do not express our love for the other person and that does not mean we do not love them, but expressing love is very important for a healthy living of couples in an arranged marriage. Think of the moment, that you both were sitting on a bench holding hands before marriage. Try to make those feelings alive in you.
- Expectations :
Once we start loving a person , we begin to expect a lot from them. Little-little things creates misunderstanding among the couples when they start expecting from each other regardless of the other person knowing it. Its natural but don't make it overcome your love.
- Love :
This happens mostly to girls after marriage. The expectations of being loved , and not getting it according to their need or desires is what creates frustration in them . Usually, we do not express our love for the other person and that does not mean we do not love them, but expressing love is very important for a healthy living of couples in an arranged marriage. Think of the moment, that you both were sitting on a bench holding hands before marriage. Try to make those feelings alive in you.
- Expectations :
Once we start loving a person , we begin to expect a lot from them. Little-little things creates misunderstanding among the couples when they start expecting from each other regardless of the other person knowing it. Its natural but don't make it overcome your love.
What should one do for a healthy and happy married life
- Make time for your partner :
This is the most important thing in arranged marriages and the most ignored thing after getting married. We start taking our partner for granted, we are so busy with our day to day life that we ignore the other person's needs ,desires and expectations from us.
Just go on a walk together, hand in hands, with the same new and different feel that you once use to have before marriage and then see the magic. You will find that it is better than any other thing that make your mind and body relaxed.
- Stop controlling your partner :
The moment we realize that we are actually in love with the person we starts controlling them in a fear of loosing the person, the fear that they do not leave you or go away from you . This feeling of insecurity inside us make our minds narrow, our whole life starts to roam around that person which makes us upset. Moreover , the partner starts to feel prisoned by the thoughts and pressure of yours.
If you love something , set it free and it will come back to you. The more you try to hold it tightly, the more it will go away from you.
- Give them a reason to love you :
Rather than making them count the things you did for them , start doing little things that you know will make them feel good. It can be cooking something which your partner likes, getting gifts without an occasion or just planning an outing or a movie secretly. These little things will make them feel special and will help to maintain the warmth in your relationship.
- Set your priorities :
We usually have fights living together under the same roof but that is nothing to worry about, it is a must thing in a relationship. But that fight must not reach to an extent where there is no other option other than getting separated. Arrange marriages are more likely to sustain if dealt smartly.
Set your priorities, see what are the things that you cannot ignore about your partner. It can be a domestic violence or your partner not giving you respect and love which you deserve. If you think that the mistake which is done by your partner is not in your priority list or is at lower position, try to ignore that and do discuss your priorities with your better half.
- Express your love :
Who do not like to be loved ? we all do. Tell your partner how much you love them and what special place they hold in your life. Make them feel special, make them feel that they mean the world to you.
This is one of the crucial factor in an arranged marriage, let the other person know that you love them, you care for them.
- Start your day with kisses :
The most beautiful and easiest way to express your love in an arranged marriage. The very first moment you open your eyes each morning , the first thing to do is hold your partner and kiss them. Make them feel that you still love them and will do it forever. Make them feel that you are noticing the small little things they are doing for you. Hugs and kisses each morning can cherish your who
- Make time for your partner :
This is the most important thing in arranged marriages and the most ignored thing after getting married. We start taking our partner for granted, we are so busy with our day to day life that we ignore the other person's needs ,desires and expectations from us.
Just go on a walk together, hand in hands, with the same new and different feel that you once use to have before marriage and then see the magic. You will find that it is better than any other thing that make your mind and body relaxed.
- Stop controlling your partner :
The moment we realize that we are actually in love with the person we starts controlling them in a fear of loosing the person, the fear that they do not leave you or go away from you . This feeling of insecurity inside us make our minds narrow, our whole life starts to roam around that person which makes us upset. Moreover , the partner starts to feel prisoned by the thoughts and pressure of yours.
If you love something , set it free and it will come back to you. The more you try to hold it tightly, the more it will go away from you.
If you love something , set it free and it will come back to you. The more you try to hold it tightly, the more it will go away from you.
- Give them a reason to love you :
Rather than making them count the things you did for them , start doing little things that you know will make them feel good. It can be cooking something which your partner likes, getting gifts without an occasion or just planning an outing or a movie secretly. These little things will make them feel special and will help to maintain the warmth in your relationship.
- Set your priorities :
We usually have fights living together under the same roof but that is nothing to worry about, it is a must thing in a relationship. But that fight must not reach to an extent where there is no other option other than getting separated. Arrange marriages are more likely to sustain if dealt smartly.
Set your priorities, see what are the things that you cannot ignore about your partner. It can be a domestic violence or your partner not giving you respect and love which you deserve. If you think that the mistake which is done by your partner is not in your priority list or is at lower position, try to ignore that and do discuss your priorities with your better half.
- Express your love :
Who do not like to be loved ? we all do. Tell your partner how much you love them and what special place they hold in your life. Make them feel special, make them feel that they mean the world to you.
This is one of the crucial factor in an arranged marriage, let the other person know that you love them, you care for them.
This is one of the crucial factor in an arranged marriage, let the other person know that you love them, you care for them.
- Start your day with kisses :
The most beautiful and easiest way to express your love in an arranged marriage. The very first moment you open your eyes each morning , the first thing to do is hold your partner and kiss them. Make them feel that you still love them and will do it forever. Make them feel that you are noticing the small little things they are doing for you. Hugs and kisses each morning can cherish your who
